The First stage

     We seek the opposite in a significant other that takes us to a side of our lives that will bring a new burning fire, a new side to all this craziness that surrounds us everyday and every second of our lives. Will he/she help us through to the other side? Through the other side of this day to day bullshit we live? Will this person bring us a calm tide to brush up against us when shit hits the fan and spreads all over the place? Will I be able to concentrate her bullshit and funnel it so I can handle it, I can treat it, listen to it; be able to survive the day to day with this person?

     It all takes place within that first impression, within that first clash of energies we experience, we know. We know what this person is about. We know how she’ll handle a death in the family, we know how he handles a nervous breakdown, but we don’t know it consciously. We blur it with physical and mental attractions. We blur it with our own curiosity of the other being, not focusing on the present signals that are being given to us.  To receive these first vital conscious impressions is a gift that few have, that many want, but most should not have, simply because the struggle to get the knowledge of someone’s everything is greater than the knowledge itself.

     A first impression is achieved. A simple, cute impression is established with each other and we’re both attracted to the other’s unknowns. What will he or she say next? What will she wear on the third date? The anticipation is so powerful we set our standards so high that the littlest thing about him or her is expanded to greatness; the true identity of puppy love. Which we can hopefully transform into a deep attraction that is stamped into our vision of the significant other. 

     We start to look forth. What will he or she act like when she finally meets the family? Will they hate her? Will they think he’s too much of a geek?  Will they accept the amount of time I spent getting to know this person and falling into a realm of compliance that only I can see? Will this fail? Is this all an illusion of someone I wish to have or someone I want and not someone who is individualized? 

     We need to find the love inside our own hearts to seek another’s. It’s a big reality bite to chew but it exists in all of us. Love for oneself will alter the path of the love search in another. The beginning days of getting to know someone is crucial to the everyday schedule you might spend with them, crucial to every emotion you will share with them.  We won’t see it, we won’t hear it, we won’t taste it or even feel it. We’ll have to foresee it. That’s the secret in beginning a relationship from the first appearance; there is no secret. Just your will to accept and breathe with another human being.