The Secretary

     A guilty pleasure? or a story of a wanted slave in need of a master? A cross between self-struggle and self-reliance with a side of sexual pleasure will grip us in ways that you wont want to miss; a side that we all have inside of our souls. A secretary searching for an out, a lawyer looking for his next thrill, the perfect romance in the caves of a demonic being; yet so appealing to us.

     The control in this film, the wanting of companionship of another human being shows us our true inner self to what we really want, but only in the depths of a dream. Or is it? She pleasures herself dreaming of coming into work late so that Mr. Lawyer can discipline her with slaps upon her behind. We see ourselves giving the lawyer a rotten piece of literature wanting our master to discipline us so that we see our redemption as a success. She yells for a calling, he denies with a swift non-reply, only dragging her closer to his grasp of total control. She needs the calling of a new beginning and comfort while he thrives on the need of a superior being.

     Scene after scene we grow to feel for her need, we grow sympathetic for her suffering not knowing where it stems from. But we need more. We need her to seek out her pleasures. We want to see how far this Lawyer man will push his prey, where will he take her next. He suddenly turns her away in a deep fantasy of reliance; dragging her deeper into his realm, or will it back fire? Will his obsession bring pain or relief to him? She is out of a means to rely on him and takes matters into her own hands, let the self mutilation continue; by smacking herself with the back of broom upon her behind. Is it the same? of course not.

     We thrive for the fantasy to continue through it's earlier norm. Her outside engagement grows limp. She wants what she gets from the office from her boyfriend but cannot comply with her unknown requests and becomes frustrated in how he acts like a normal male trying to satisfy himself; she only wishing for him to turn as red and demonic as her master lawyer. She dreams of her masters companionship, he hides his anguish and reels her further into his domain. Her outside relationship comes into contact with her fantasy. We realize the strength of this, and see her comply with her masters every wish. He tells her to obey his every command. She does. She exposes herself in a desperate act of compliance while he enjoys himself to a quick and expressive ejaculation. A strong point that throws us deeper into the fantasy. She sits there half naked, he walks away in fulfillment and hands her a forum to fill out... "bring me my sandwich" he says, is this an appearance of life itself?

     Are we tested through these frames to find the inner demon in our own self? Have we mutated so much to only look for what we want out of the other sex? This lawyer has and this secretary has completely accepted her masters wishes. Her previous life of abusing herself to hide her shame has completely vanished in her masters vision. She is the servant that entirely devotes her mind body and soul to her master. He has full control. Over her? yes. Over himself? No. He is consumed with his deeply rooted fantasy of ruling a human being which has made him into a living demon.

     This film shows us the real control someone can have over another, a metaphor for what some people live everyday. Plain reality. When we completely obey a certain someone, a career, a son, a daughter, we completely surrender ourselves. This film will grasp you in ways you already know but will be seeing for the first time. A script that is worth reading, a film that is worth watching; every frame. Every step of the way we are thrown into a different era of conflict. A film that is too much like our own lives. A film that is too far, yet too close to reality. Watch this film, remember it, and learn from it. Bravo!

The Second Stage

     The Second Stage of a relationship is a grind of two beings that is seen by most people who enter relationships but only a few gather the real meaning of this special time spent with your significant other. Its a pivotal point in a relationship that tests the boundaries of everything in the bind that the two have created. The grip you had on the vision of the person when you first met has changed drastically. It has morphed into something that is living or dying. You both should fuel each other in every way possible, whether it be in a negative or a positive way.  If they aren't then they're simple a rotting corpse that is in your way which is a violently cold way to look at it but it spits the truth in the face of people who need powerful advise.

          Your partner will show you things about yourself that you never knew existed. They will test you and try to break your walls down to find your core to see what its like in there. Will that core be able to handle a long lasting connection with loyalty and grace? Will she turn into a nagging wife that hates everything that you do with your friends and hate all of the TV channels you watch? This is the stage that all of this starts to come to the surface. It will take a lifetime to have any kind of results but you must take the first step.

          The man looks at many women out in the wild showing off their bodies and hanging around men who are free as could be without a care in the world. He's engulfed with envy. He wants what he had when those hard times come with your woman. It seems to clear that a life like that would be much more enjoyable than this hell your experiencing in your relationship. But when all the current emotions are put aside you must ask your self this question. Look at those women and ask yourself, Do those single ladies know how to make me laugh? Do they know all of my favorite foods and knows exactly how to make my day a better day when I'm feeling down? Will that girl flashing her breasts be honored to meet your parents that you've been talking about since the first time you met? Will she drive an hour out of her way to come pick you up when you've embarrassed yourself at work by getting fired and no one seems to think you amount to anything? Will that girl flashing her breasts wake you up in the middle of the night because you've seem to drift away in bed and wants your warmth? No. She just knows that your a man who wants to have fun and call it a night, no wake up call, just on to the next party.

          But your love, your queen... she knows you have a heart and a future that springs loudly with love and care. The thought of a future family scares the man to no edge but inside he's calm and collective with the thought of his love baring his child. He envisions it in her, he knows there's more to come in this life which will be conquered with her by his side. She feels safe in his arms. He feels loved and cared for.  This life brings so many questions with only a limited amount of answers but one answer is for certain. The most beautiful part and most crucial of this engagement of two souls relies on the simple act of acknowledging your love for one another.

The Horse Memoir

          I wish I could see the world as I once did as a child. Everything seemed so endless and possible. My dad was the strongest and smartest man alive and my mom the only human to actually resemble an angel. My twin brother was my partner in this vast world that hadn’t been discovered yet, we were willing to fall or rise together, no matter the result. 

          Every little memory that I carry to this day is there in my mind because of how new I was to the world. Seeing a horse for the first time was something I will never forget. It stood tall and strong with pride an agility of a king. Its soft silk skin ran down its back with its lightly tough tail of hair flapping in the wind. Its eyes pierced the land with precision as it calmly ate the grass beneath its feet. It stood from afar but it felt as it if was right next to me. I hadn’t made a sound since I laid my eyes on this animal, I didn’t want to scare it and vanish with its beauty behind it. I wanted to stay there forever to watch it grow into an old horse that told stories to its children who galloped around him just as I ran around my dad to show him my agility. I wanted the horse to be in love so they could sit there and be one. I wanted everything in my mind to become a reality so fiercely that I saw it as truth.

          It slowly started to creep towards the fence I was standing by but never taking its head above the ground. Its eyes kept scanning the land in front and to the sides of it, always chomping down hard at the grass and eating dirt as it popped up as well. Suddenly, it ripped its neck up as if to see a shooting star in the sky. It turned its head to the side with its eye piercing through the hills surrounding us. It made a grunt that sounded to come from way down deep in its body. It continued to grunt steadily for a couple seconds then in a fraction of a second leaped into a gallop towards the hill where it was looking. Its hair swayed in the air with freedom only birds can feel. Its feet in sync with its heart beat that pounded its body forward to the hills. Its nostrils opening wide to let every molecule of oxygen into its large inflated lung to export from its body in a bold fury to gallop even faster. It ran until I couldn’t see it no more. The horse was gone from my view forever. I would never see it again. I stood there staring into the woods praying for that horse to come back. But it didn’t. 

          The Earth suddenly got deadly dark and quiet with the breeze easily brushing against the leaves on the surrounding trees. I wanted the beauty that breathed through that horse back with all my might. I needed that horse to show me its beauty everyday I awoke, but it ceases to exist. But I am young! My heart pumps blood that is new and crispy, my lungs take in air with ease, my eyes view landscapes with innocence; they have barely seen the world that I live in. I still have thousands and thousands of sunsets, full moons and waterfalls to see. I will be married one day and look into the eyes of my newborn child and breath with my creation simultaneously. I will attend concerts that scream vibrations that pierce my mind like a lightning bolt. I will see a painting that’s worth forty five million dollars that describes the world between its four frames. The day will exist where I awake to a morning sun and realize I have made my life worth living every second, every breath with peace of mind. That day will come! This world is full of beauty that surrounds us everyday right aside us in our daily lives. We will create beauty; we will thrive from it. Parents will create beautiful offspring that will stride each and everyday with glamor. Our wives, our husbands will recreate the day they first met with each waking moment. The schools across the land will mold minds to create beauty within our future. But I stand there with a cloud of nostalgia climbing to its darkest peek as the sun goes to sleep and my vision deteriorates. The crawling dark never seems to forget to remind me that this day will forever resonate in my soul. It never halts to remind me that I will never see that horse again nor anything, as beautiful as that.

American Splendor

     American Splendor took us on a ride, a very real and harsh ride that gives the creatively inclined average man something to relate to. Harvey Pekar’s life was a definite roller coaster in every way. He took us to the depths of his lows and to the humble mountain tops of his highs. He first dreams of becoming a great comic writer like the greats he’s always read but soon finds a different road to go down. He sees his own everyday life as an adventure in itself. Living life is complicated and complex already. Why make it anymore than what it already is? He begins to write his daily life down on paper. Realizing its flow and truthfulness his good friend and comic writer wants to illustrate it, and BINGO! American Splendor takes its first leap into the world and is a slow but steady success.

     Harvey’s life begins to turn around. He has what seems to be a dead beat life. He’s a hoarder, divorced twice, circling around a soul sucking job as a filing clerk, a life where depression is served for breakfast lunch and dinner. But the success of his comic starts to shed some light on his dreary existence. A man who is among few comic writers who are thinking way outside the box has created art out of his own life! No special effects or stunt doubles, just Harvey and his day to day grind.

     A young lady who loves reading American Splendor comes into contact with Harvey. They begin to talk regularly. Harvey soon becomes very interested in meeting with this woman which they do and click right away in an awkwardly fashion. The other half of a man is a woman and Harvey has found his other half.  It’s the perfect storm, a woman in a man’s life; she’ll drive you to the edge of pain sorrow and guilt but then be there every time you fall to pick you right up. Can we get a rewrite? Don’t think so. But Harvey doesn’t seem to care. He’s found something worth getting up for.

     Harvey becomes overwhelmed with his new found glory; she must be there at all times. Like a kid with a new toy, until it breaks. But Harvey is far from calling his lady a toy, she is his muse, his creation within, she even appears in his comic book, in good and bad ways.  Their day to day relationship is quite odd, which is normal, but odd in a way that at first site is hard to swallow. It tastes like a friendship which has some benefits at times. At times she’s an angry sister who won’t get out of bed. The angry mother telling her son to CLEAN UP YOUR SHIT! But this is all accepted when we realize who this Harvey character is and who this lady is. They’re awkwardly perfect for each other in every way.

     Harvey’s success with 8 comic books seems to peak when he starts to appear on The Late Night Show with David Letterman which at first glance might look like a normal wacko vs wacko interview but in this one the audiences are laughing at Harvey, not with Harvey. A sad sight but it was the start of an age where ‘weird’ was selling on T.V. He appears several more times on the show, the audience getting louder and louder each time, Harvey trying to translate all that is going on around him.

     It all finally stops when David Letterman insults Harvey straight on while Harvey waits backstage to go on. Harvey reacts in a bitter aggressive way towards Letterman, demanding he be taken seriously, only getting a bigger laugh in return. No more Letterman appearances for Harvey. No worries, the American audience will have many wackos to be entertained by in the future, just another act expired.

     Harvey hits a brick wall with a tumor diagnosis. His wife tries to make the situation a positive one suggesting to Harvey that he write about his time with the tumor, every detail. Harvey declines, the wife decides to take it up in her own hands. Harvey goes through a deep spiral into destruction with the treatment and the fear of death. He begins to believe that he’s just a character, that American Splendor is his life and only that, a deadly reality that many realize.  Is my career my sole identity? Is the research and papers and books and libraries all I have to show in this life? What happens when I die? Does my character just die or does it live on to educate the uneducated? This is a crucial point in the movie. With this closing in on him and with everything else building up, Harvey Pekar hits his bottom. 

    Harvey survives his treatment and completes the book with his wife. They’ve adopted a lovely child along this experience and seem to be happy.  But the life of Harvey Pekar is never balanced, never certain. It’s always a struggle from day to day in his shoes. It’s a concept we all should adapt. Life is a struggle, a never ending test. It’s the small things that keep us going, keeps us making that step forward. We should never forget the people in our lives, or our dreams. Your life will most likely turn out totally different than you thought but it’s your life and no one elses, make it your own! Make it fun! Spontaneous! Make it last and unforgettable. Know that all of your wishes in life won’t come true but one thing you can count on is life. It’ll always be there for you to live, no matter what way you choose.

     Harvey Pekar chose his road that drove through a comic book store and changed it forever and this movie told me his story in an interesting unique and fulfilling way. I ask everyone to watch it in honor or to simply see ambition within the realm of uncertainty. Do something. Create something. Be something. Just do it!  

The Louie Bee

Julie & Julia

     Julie & Julia was a movie that flowed like its portrayal of delicious meals throughout its length. It showed us the true passion these two people had for their food and its role in their lives. The spectacular performance by Meryl Streep was beautiful; she told me who Julia Child was, she showed me the life of Julia Child and her passion for french cuisine. Amy Adams was a soulful young woman of 30 who was seeking a way out of her daily routine which consisted of boring phone calls to angry people. A young woman who had friends that were only invested in their own lives who only saw their own path in life as valuable. She took the world on and decided to follow the footsteps of Julia Child's cookbook to show that she can complete something in her life with the help of her hungry husband.

     The film was filled with sequences of Julie and Julia following their passion to seek something new, to find their love at the bottom of a stew. We saw their differences in time and in culture but both from the same American soul. Julia from California living in France trying to make her change in french cuisine bumping into many obstacles that made her ponder her passion. Julie riding against a wall that always shouted at her that she was unable to complete this task, that she couldn't blog her way through Julia Child's cookbook! They both ventured through these obstacles seeking their bright light at the end of the tunnel with the support of their loved ones. Even Julie's cat helped her with a recipe that was pivotal in her journey.

     A short bump in Julie's relationship with her husband enabled her to realize her passion even more for food but didn't really sum up the husband's argument that she was being selfish and narcissistic. Maybe that plays into the role of the American husband.. "just shut up and weather the storm when the Mrs. is in the zone". Julia however, came into more obstacles trying to write her book on French cuisine for Americans than any relationship she had encountered. Acknowledging the difference in time and era that Julie and Julia were in might have played a big role in their different journeys through food. The contrast between the two points in time definitely keeps the viewer in tune with the story. You're left wanting more of the other story while watching the other and vice-versa.

     Upon Julie's fame with her blog she is later acknowledged by Julia Child herself; this, my friends, is the plot point that was never explained, or even given the correct amount of attention.  Julie's passion for food stems from Julia herself (as the viewer will most likely believe) but the subplot of the two in present time goes no further than Julia's comment of Julie's blog; it ends as quickly as it starts. Is this just something the screenwriter wants the viewer to wish upon and make up his or her own ending? That Julia begins to understand Julie's love for food and wishes her the best in her triumph through the culinary arts? Or is it best left untold? The life of Julie & Julia remain separate as it leaves us in the final moments with Julie's four word line, "I love you Julia". Does this work? Do these words cover everything she just went through? Does it give justice to the full strength and progression of her mind body and soul? Could Julia's cookbook have transformed Julie's life? After all, Julia transformed the landscape of American cooking and TV.  She is a legend.  But that is the true beauty of film my friends; the questions and debates that proceed the thousands and thousands of frames that have just been presented. I say bravo to this brilliant picture of two lovable characters that are consumed by measures of life and triumph that surround us everyday; this one just happens to appear in a cookbook.

The First stage

     We seek the opposite in a significant other that takes us to a side of our lives that will bring a new burning fire, a new side to all this craziness that surrounds us everyday and every second of our lives. Will he/she help us through to the other side? Through the other side of this day to day bullshit we live? Will this person bring us a calm tide to brush up against us when shit hits the fan and spreads all over the place? Will I be able to concentrate her bullshit and funnel it so I can handle it, I can treat it, listen to it; be able to survive the day to day with this person?

     It all takes place within that first impression, within that first clash of energies we experience, we know. We know what this person is about. We know how she’ll handle a death in the family, we know how he handles a nervous breakdown, but we don’t know it consciously. We blur it with physical and mental attractions. We blur it with our own curiosity of the other being, not focusing on the present signals that are being given to us.  To receive these first vital conscious impressions is a gift that few have, that many want, but most should not have, simply because the struggle to get the knowledge of someone’s everything is greater than the knowledge itself.

     A first impression is achieved. A simple, cute impression is established with each other and we’re both attracted to the other’s unknowns. What will he or she say next? What will she wear on the third date? The anticipation is so powerful we set our standards so high that the littlest thing about him or her is expanded to greatness; the true identity of puppy love. Which we can hopefully transform into a deep attraction that is stamped into our vision of the significant other. 

     We start to look forth. What will he or she act like when she finally meets the family? Will they hate her? Will they think he’s too much of a geek?  Will they accept the amount of time I spent getting to know this person and falling into a realm of compliance that only I can see? Will this fail? Is this all an illusion of someone I wish to have or someone I want and not someone who is individualized? 

     We need to find the love inside our own hearts to seek another’s. It’s a big reality bite to chew but it exists in all of us. Love for oneself will alter the path of the love search in another. The beginning days of getting to know someone is crucial to the everyday schedule you might spend with them, crucial to every emotion you will share with them.  We won’t see it, we won’t hear it, we won’t taste it or even feel it. We’ll have to foresee it. That’s the secret in beginning a relationship from the first appearance; there is no secret. Just your will to accept and breathe with another human being.


 

The Fighter (2010) Mark Wahlberg Christian Bale Amy Adams

     The Fighter gives you fights within the rink and within the fighter's heart body and soul. But most of all, this movie shows you the fight within the family.  The fight that must be fought before any fight within the ring can even be thought of. A main goal which is deteriorated by outside problems that seem minuscule to the main goal. The pressure of going behind your family to feed your dreams the right fuel, the want and need for the right path to go down where every other path led to disappointment. This epic film will show and conquer the fight within your mind body and soul.

     The phenomenal trio of brilliant actors and actresses allowed us to believe the frames shown before us are the actual people behind the story. The beautiful and destructive relationship between the two brothers grips us so deeply throughout the film creating an emotional attachment early on. The family surrounding the fighter brings us even deeper and further away from the ringt but to only hold us closer to the real struggle of a fighter.  A family that is there for their son in the ring on the outside but deep down they're a family searching for an out from their lives through their sons success which is limited to a non-existing one.

     A dreadful defeat causes the fighter to reroute his training options to an outside source that is more stable and reliable than his erratic family. A fighter's support system relying so heavily on a damaged family is not the right equation for a successful career as we see, only a caring family for the right reasons can bring a fighter to great heights. While watching we sympathize for the fighter in that all we want for him is a family that is there for him no matter where the money is, no matter if there's a check coming in or not.

     We might see a fighter in a rink as a bully who had to channel his fury into a career, which can be the point, but this so called bully will need to sacrifice every part of his body, every cell in his mind to endure the struggle through his career. This film takes you for a ride through every aspect of a fighter's life. The ups and the way downs. The times where rock bottom couldn't get any lower.

     Out of a desperate act to clean himself up, the weakest one in the family, the brother, redeems himself by creating an alliance throughout the whole family, allowing them to see what the whole thing was about, The Fighter, not their empty wallets. Its a great redemption to see a crack head brother who once was a great fighter bring a damaged and rotten emotional family come together to watch their brother/son become the great Mickey Ward.
   
     A fighter got in the rink with his family yelling at him for all the wrong reasons, do better, fight harder, win harder. Two hours later I saw a fighter get in the ring I didn't see before, he was changed, he and his family transformed through those two hours into something absolutely grateful for every breath they took and every smile they made. Call it a rocky film? Call it that. But I call it The Fighter because it shows us the real fight between a fighters gloves, himself.


The Louie Bee